There are some things that I need to say, and I understand that “when you’ve got something you truly need to say, there is someone who truly needs to hear it” (paraphrasing Marianne Williamson, as usual. God I adore her…).
First….I don’t know about you but I have had it up to here (please picture me standing with one hand on my hip and the other hand over my head. Thank you kindly. Carry on.) with all this bullshit craziness around sports/tv/movie/music ‘stars’.
Listen… here’s a news flash… they’re people too. They eat. They drink. They shit.
They do all the same stuff that you & I do every day.
They’ve got a gift that they’re sharing with the world.
You have a gift that you could share with the world (your world, at least) too.
They’re not special in any meaning of the word, no more than you are.
Find your gift and fucking share it, already.
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Speaking of your gift….
There is no one outside of you who can tell you any more than you already know yourself.
Right now.
You are the number one best authority on you. If anyone tells you otherwise, they’re lying.
This can suck, huge.
I know from personal experience how much this can suck. The Fabulous Fabeku could tell you stories about how I know that this sucks. He’s been hearing me whine, in various ways, about how I don’t know what to do & don’t know who I am (etc… etc… blah blah blah) for going on nearly a year now.
Seriously, I don’t know how he tolerated it (but he did, because he’s the Fabulous Fabeku).
I get it… It’s so much easier to sit around and hope that someone is going to come along (someday!!) and tell you what you need to know so that you can really start living your life.
But guess what?
Your life is already going on, with or without you fully present in it.
I mean, really… There comes a point when we all have to put on our big girl panties and get with the fucking program already. There is too much shit going on in the world. We no longer have the luxury of sitting by idly as things fall apart.
Wake the fuck up.
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Speaking of waking up…
Have you ever noticed that when you’re truly present in the moments of your life, that things don’t feel as shitty as they otherwise can?
I know, we hear it from gurus left & right.
Brilliant teachers, all (by the way, there are no affiliate links in this post).
Ya know what, though?
They’re all right!!
When you’re able to be absolutely present in the moments of your life, the moments (and thus your life… stay with me, here) come alive in a way that’s indescribable.
Now. I hear ya… It can be hard work re-learning to be present (though let’s note right here & now it’s nowhere near impossible by any means).
Pretty much anyone who’s able to read this right now has had the natural talent to be present conditioned out of them by family, society, etc…
That’s no excuse for not practicing, starting now, to be present with individual moments.
Just try it.
Use whatever method you like (psst! There are some fantastic methods in the new Martha Beck book Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want).
Just Do It.
Start Now.
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To summarize:
- Find your gift and fucking share it, already. No more excuses! No more hiding out in fear!
- You are the number 1 best authority on you. If anyone tells you differently, they’re lying. (It can absolutely be helpful to have a mentor – or 3 – to point out your blind spots to you… but you are the ultimate authority. You know when you’re hiding out, when you’re holding back, and when you’re not being honest.)
- When you’re able to be absolutely present in the moments of your life, the moments come alive in a way that’s indescribable. Try it. You’ll see.
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So… where ya at?
Love it?
Hate it?
I’d love to hear about it either way.
Two rules:
- Don’t be a jerk
- Tell me how you feel. I don’t want to hear your mind chatter. I want to hear your heart murmurs. Be brave. Go there.
<3
Eeek — I’m worried I’ll comment only mind-chatter! But here goes:
Hell yeah!
The thing that rang most true for me is that you’re your own best authority. It’s so easy to slip into the trap of listening to and absorbing what comes at us from others — it’s really and truly DIFFICULT to tune in to your own nature, but it’s sooooo worth it.
And the gift — yes! I actually started ClickAClass as part of the process of teaching “giftedness” to my kids. I want them to understand that they each have a gift and a duty to share it, but I had to find my own gift first. (Too many years of listening and absorbing….I made it almost through my 30′s before discovering my gift.)
Excellent rant. Keep ‘em coming.
Ahhh, no worries Jessica… Sounds like it all came from the gut
YES, that’s it.. yes. When we listen so intently to what everyone else is saying (all the experts… self-proclaimed and otherwise) is becomes much more difficult to hear that ‘small, still voice’ inside. That’s the whole thing. We each have that voice and that connection to Self within, but when we’re so fucking worried about what everyone else says, or what everyone else is DOING we cannot connect with it.
I LOVE how you started ClickAClass… that is magic!!
Girlfriend, I’ll be 35 this year and just now (sniff, sniff
) feel like I’m coming into my own and figuring things out…
Better late than never, fo’ sure <3
I loved this-that is my gut and heart response! You are the best authority on you-that is the single best, brightest, and true thing I have encountered all day-it is so absolutely true. I think that there is much desire to outsource your inner knowing to so-called experts-but at the end of the day, its all you baby.
Beautiful and Brilliant.
Oh yay to ‘gut and heart response’…!
YES, such desire to outsource your own inner knowing… I love that Bri! That whole sentence… “at the end of the day, it’s all you baby” YESYESYES!!
<3
Dear Angel,
What a huge release and how important in the process to live your truth. So bravo for that.
I agree on being our own authority but we also have pieces of information for each other. We are interdependent beings part of a pulsing whole. Sometimes we all need nudges of love to get us out of hiding and sometimes a big kick in the butt. I love how life presents what we need if we are willing to see.
Many blessings dear!
Hey Marjory,
We ABSOLUTELY have pieces for each other, and that’s where good friends and mentors come in. We ABSOLUTELY are part of a whole and sometimes need nudges from others.
My point here, though, is that for those of us who tend to get caught up in ONLY listening to voices outside of our Selves… it’s totally not needed. Not only that, it’s not acceptable.
I strongly believe that we each need to stand up and take responsibility for our own pieces, and our own lives… as well as our own contribution to that ‘pulsing whole’ (love that!). Otherwise, how will things ever change? If not me, who? If not now, when?
Life is definitely magical and always trying to present to us what we need… I’m 100% on-board with that!
<3
And breathe! That was intense, hard hitting and so true. It is so much easier to wait for other people to give you the answers and then be disappointed when they don’t. The hardes part I find is learning to listen to that beautiful, still calm inside that says yes, this is me and this is right. Find that, learn to live with it and it connects you to the hear and now. Sometimes I just stand with my eyes closed and feel the ground beneath me. It makes me realise how much of my life I’ve been running from or too something and that it’s time to stop. It feels so good to let myself rest and be.
Hi Claire!
“And breathe”… fabulous <3
Yes… it was a bit intense. Part of me almost apologized for that, but I don’t think that’s what you want and it’s not something I want to do anyway because I’m not sorry for putting out what I believe deep down…
Exactly!! We wait and hope for the ‘secret answer’.. the ultimate solution from someone else & then have all this disappointment and other gunk when they don’t live up to that expectation. It’s not fair and it’s not responsible.
Yes, it can be really really hard to find that voice, let alone learn to listen to it. I’m practicing that myself
Ohhhh, love your practice of standing with eyes closed & feeling the ground beneath…. that’s gorgeous!
Thanks for being here, Claire
There’s nothing like telling it like it is. Great insights with gusto!
Love the books you share, too!
Nothing like telling it like it is… indeed
ok this post took me for a wild ride… laughing (at your hand on hip, other one raised above your head), mmm..hmmm!!-ing, cowering a little bit … then standing up straight , looking you directly in the eyes and saying “Back the f*** off… I’m DOING THIS!”
My reaction helps me realize just HOW VERY IMPORTANT it is to me to be living my purpose. ACTING on it. DOING stuff with and about it.
Damn woman, I feel like you just gave me a pep talk in the corner of a boxing ring and I’m coming out swinging.
Wow.
STARLA!!!!!!!
You know I love your response to it. I love the emotional reaction.
I laughed so hard at this… and also got a little bit teary. Your response tells me that you totally got it… your ‘coming out swinging’ tells me you’re ready to rock it.
Go baby go!!
<3
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! SO very true!
thanks, Amy
Angel! LOVE THIS. Especially the part about you being the expert on you – this has been so fucking hard for me to learn, I am always looking outside of myself for advice on me…which sometimes can be helpful, but as you say, shouldn’t be your guiding light. I’ve also had to struggle with getting advice (esp. paid) from others and then going against it because it doesn’t “feel” right – I’ve got better about it but sometimes I feel like “I paid for this, so I should use it! Even if I’m not quite sure it’s me.” No more of that, I tell ya! 100% unfiltered Michelle is what I’m aiming for in 2012. More posts like this, please!!
SO hard, I hear you Michelle… totally and completely!!
I’m feeling now like I’ve wasted SO MUCH TIME in reaching out for someone else to give me the answer, not recognizing that any answer someone *was* able to give me was just not going to be my truth.
It might have a piece of it (and there’ve been several that have!)… but it would not be the entire thing. Couldn’t be, because there’s only one me (thank god for that).
Yes, get it. Paying for the consulting and then not taking the advice… Good for you, though, for doing what did feel right… and how interesting with everything that you’re rocking now, girl…. Looks to me like you’re getting into your true groove… Would you agree?
<3
YES! Definitely. And it wasn’t even that the kind of advice I was getting changed – but after I was 110% willing to listen to someone elses’ advice and say “I appreciate it, but that’s not what my gut says”, and do what I felt called to do anyways…that’s when I feel like I started to find my groove. I spent most of 2011 working through that issue, haha, and it’s nice to see that it’s visible from the outside.
I also definitely hear you about the “piece of it” part…that SO echoes what I was just telling Matt the other day actually, that I feel frustrated because people reflect things back to me but they’re just *pieces* and they aren’t the whole underlying web/theme. We seem to have very similar thoughts/histories! <3
Totally visible from the outside, chicly… you’re rocking this stuff HUGE.
LOVE seeing that we are so on the same page…. super cool…
<3
interesting post because i just saw a youtube video ranting about eckhart tolle. that he teaches suffering is all in the mind and that all we have to do is to be present.. but what about the 5 year old girl who lost her leg in a war, and lost her family, and is living in poverty? there are always going to be people who cite those ‘less fortunate’ as examples.. i don’t necessarily agree with it. yes, there is suffering in this world. real, true suffering that most people can’t even imagine. but that is NO excuse not to create YOUR own world. by creating our world we also change the world. so the work that eckhart tolle does and other spiritual gurus is absolutely necessary. and create your fucking life already!! you’re in the drivers seat. act like it!!
Exactly, Janet….
There is real suffering in the world… the likes of which most people will never even see from afar.
I agree, though, that being aware of that suffering doesn’t give us reason to not do what we can to improve the world (our own backyard if nothing else)… in fact quite the opposite. I think the more aware we are of that suffering, the more it is our absolute responsibility to do what we can to better things for ourselves and others.
If one really believes that we’re all part of a whole (which I do… though if someone reminds me of that when I’m in traffic and considering whether I can beat someone and get away with it, they’d not get a polite response in that moment.. just sayin’…), then it’s asinine to think that anything BUT doing our part will make the difference…
It’s like the starfish thing… the kid walking on the beach throwing starfish back into the water… and the dude asking him what he thinks he’s doing (because the boy can’t possibly make a difference/save all of them).. and the boy replies “I made a difference to that one”
Hell yeah.. I’d rather make a difference in the lives that I *am* able to touch than none at all because I’m too busy bitching and moaning about something I can’t change.
Went off on another (minor) rant there, but all that to say…. I am totally with you! Thanks for being here <3
My heart felt thoughts…….
FUCK YHEA!!!!!!
You are speaking the truth with all of this Angel.
I’m not sure what part I like better- “Find your gift and fucking share it, already. No more excuses!” or “You are the number 1 best authority on you.”.
These are both big pieces that I’ve dealt with in my own life and then over and over again with clients. I think the root of it all is being willing to be responsible for your life. Make your own choices based on what you hear your own soul calling out for.
Of course, being present is the only way you are going to hear what your guidance is telling you.
Look for your alignment with you. You find it in everything that feels good and expansive- the things that light up and tickle your fancy. Pay attention to your preferences, natural rhythms, interests, and those things that set you apart and make you different. That is where you will find your “special thing”.
Rock on !!!
Leah
Leah!!
You got it… being willing to be responsible for your own life….
I had a huge wake up call from a fellow whipster (and now someone I consider a good friend!) a little bit back… We were talking about the ways I’d really abdicated my power, and with it a good chunk of my self-esteem. What a fucking massively uncomfortable conversation THAT was…. It was also a massively huge blessing. She really got to me and made me wake up and realize that it’s time to take responsibility for myself in ALL areas and stop waiting for someone else to tell me what to do…
Grow a set already, and just fucking do it.
So that’s what’s happening
Thanks for being here, Leah <3
First time here…. Definitely will not be the last.
Girl I like your style
That’s what I like to hear, my new friend
And now, I’m off to check out your site… anything talking about “You were born to Sparkle” has got my attention!!
Thanks tons for being here <3
KICK ASS post, thanks “coach!” That felt like a perfectly timed locker room session before the big game.. my big game! I am standing here with my big girl panties on and I HEAR YOU, loud-n-clear. NO MORE EXCUSES!!! At 56, there are no regrets that in the last year or so, I startewd to pay attention & can see clearly that i’m here to share my gifts. I’ve been waiting all of my life for **this day** ~ and i would not have recognized it without all of the life experiences that came before. I truly believe the world is holding its breath for that moment and I’m ready to deliver!!
On being present/awake, just late last night i felt a sudden need to be in silence & nature and was compelled to get off the couch (in NE US) and sit outside on my front step thinking, “i want to breathe in the night sky, feel the fresh chill in the air, take in the dark forest that surrounds me and frames the stars – right now! why wait for warmer weather, a different day.” It felt so right… to be a part of the world and not just witnessing it.
In gratitude,
– vicki xo
Rock on, fabulousness!!! (That would be *you*
)
No more excuses is right….
Only 56?? You’re still a spring chicken!! Get out on that field girlfriend, and get your groove on! The world is, indeed, holding its breath for you. So fabulous that you can sense that and that you’re *DOING* something about it… I am so very pleased for you!!!
Ohhh, got goosebumps reading about your presence with nature moments last night… GOOD FOR YOU! No more waiting… there is no perfect time. Perfect will never arrive. Right now is always here.
Hey, next time you’re out there… if you feel like getting a picture to shared (on BoD perhaps, and tag me!) I’d be ever so grateful!!!! I so wish I was surrounded by forest… ahhh, gorgeous!!
Thanks so much for being here Vicki… your comment rocked my day…
<3